In My Mind’s Zen Garden

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
—Bill Cosby

This entry is part of the Rice Bowl Journals June 2007 Collaborations Project

. . . .

My Dad’s one of those people whom I’ve admired greatly. He was a good provider to his family, and was a bit of a strict disciplinarian when it came to raising us siblings. At times we had a bit of fear of him because he was such a strict disciplinarian, but for the most part he has been a caring, loving father who also like to joke a lot.

He was able to join the Navy after a stint with being a high school English teacher in the Philippines. And having been in the Navy for a good 26 years, he was away for many months at a time working on aircraft carriers and battleships. Then later was able to spend more time at home with shore duty. At one point, he was stationed in Long Beach so he was gone for the week and would come home during the weekends.

Maybe, the time spent away from us kids had made it hard for us to really feel like we were close. But I do remember writing letters to him when I was small.

After the Navy, my Dad went to work for the post office for another 20 years. He was a well-liked worker in his environment, and was a super-dedicated, fast worker.

I remember that he was always a very good, moral person. He always has gone to church on Sundays, has been a very active board member for The Bicol Club of San Diego County (he still is), and a couple of times he was president of the club. He still has had many other special titles and has always been very social. Only once did I see him come home drunk, and that was after he’d come home from his big retirement party when he finally retired from the Navy. I had to try and carry him into the house, and I remember he was heavy and his head bumped into the wall. I always felt bad about that, but I don’t think he ever remembered that.

One thing I really enjoyed with my Dad was going fishing. We’d go fishing at various piers around the city, and when I was older we went on deep sea fishing trips. He was a very hardcore fisherman for a long time. But it was in the last decade I think, that he stopped fishing.

Another thing I have admired him for was in helping me get into drumming. He bought my first snare drum when I was a kid, and my first drumset. Matter of fact, he bought me another drumset after my first one. And got me drum lessons at the local music store. He has really been supportive of my drumming interests. And in high school he was the manager for the dance band I was in. This really helped in keeping the band organized in maintaining our schedule and making sure all the band members were paid properly. He has always joked about becoming a manager and getting me involved in music to keep me off the streets.

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.” —Harmon Killebrew

Though we really never saw eye-to-eye on some issues, which I rationalize as a generational gap, and also a bit of a cultural one. My Dad, especially in his later years, has been a very cool person to know.

My Dad is a very family-oriented person, is a very religious and spiritual person, and just has an amazing amount of “moral fiber”. I really admire him for all that he has done for our family, and for the local Filipino Community here in San Diego. He’s a great human being, and the only thing nowadays that sets us apart is the fact that he’s a staunch Republican, and I am a somewhat liberal Democrat. But, we never really talk politics anyways.

He has helped many, many relatives get settled here in America when they came here as immigrants. So much so that our house was like a halfway house for newly arrived immigrant cousins and uncles. He has always been considerate in helping other relatives in our family clan.

So, this entry is a tribute to my Dad, whom I truly love, admire, and hold in high esteem.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!!!