In My Mind’s Zen Garden

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
~Oprah Winfrey

From here on I’ll simply refer to my terminally ill elderly family member as “the patient”. I think it’s easier that way. Though I’m not a doctor or a nurse… simply just a voluntary caregiver who is simply trying to make the patient feel as comfortable as possible during his stay here.

So, the patient enjoyed time spent out in the garden, drinking warm milk, reading a bit, then arranging himself on a lounge chair and using another chair to prop up his legs. He was enjoying the warmth of the late afternoon sun, before falling asleep. After waking up and walking inside, and using the bathroom, he ended up falling asleep again in his bed.

Earlier my wife gave him a bath upstairs and he seemed to feel very refreshed and renewed.

But toward the evening he was asleep and woke up later in the evening and that’s when we gave him warm milk again with his night time meds. We also tried to give him dinner, which consisted of a small bowl of yakisoba noodles, a few slices of banana, and some mango. I’m very worried because he really didn’t eat anything, except for the warm milk and the medications. Even the glass of warm milk wasn’t entirely consumed, just enough to get the medicine down.

He said he was feeling stronger today and that he felt much better staying at our house. He wants to get stronger so that he can fly back to the Philippines to see his family there. Tonight his spirits are high and he felt really good.

While he was asleep in the early evening, I practiced piano. It doesn’t wake him up and he continues to sleep. But, I’m hoping that the sounds would soothe him on a subconscious level.

After taking his meds and warm milk he fell asleep again. And he’s still asleep as I write this. In a bit I’ll have to stay with him and sleep on the couch, which is in the same room across from his bed, just in case he wakes up in the middle of the night and needs assistance.

I know he’s terminally ill, but a part of me has hope. And the more I think about it, the more I feel that life should be handled one day at a time. Sure, it’s the plans and future goals that keep us going. So, doctors might give you 6 months to live, but you can’t lose hope. Or else you might as well end it here and now. If you can do one thing to live for just one more day, then wouldn’t that be worth it? If you could do something to extend your life for another month, wouldn’t that be worth it? I think so.