2008: The First 6 Months in Review

This entry is part of the Rice Bowl Journals Collaboration Project for July. The idea is to post a review of your experiences during the first half of the current year. So, here goes…

It’s interesting how, when a lot goes on within a given time, one doesn’t remember as much. Too much information coming in, perhaps? Information overload?

. . . .

January

On January 26, I turned 50! Okay, this is a major milestone in someone’s life, no? Well, for me… no big party, no huge celebration… I celebrated quietly at home with family.

For my 50th birthday I finally got a grand piano, thanks to my lovely wife. During my childhood I practiced on a piano my parents bought for $100. It sure felt awesome to be able to play on a grand piano every day and whenever I felt like it.

My wife’s family (and my family too) had a devastating blow… my father-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it was terminal, and he was given 6 months to live.

Heather Ledger died at the age of 28.

Flamenco Nova was finishing up in the recording studio.

February

My wife’s family had a big reunion and dined at a popular Dim Sum Restaurant in San Diego. It was to celebrate my older sis-in-law’s birthday, but more importantly, it was to celebrate my father-in-law’s life. He looked not-so-good on that day and was getting weaker. My nieces, Berkeley Girl and Harvard Girl flew in from the Bay Area and Boston to attend the event.

Flamenco Nova released its first CD entitled “Rumba in Blue”. The band continued to perform around town, mainly at Le Papagayo and Friar’s Folly.

I remember doing a lot of praying and meditating during this month.

I also found out that one of my uncles, my Mom’s younger brother, was diagnosed with liver cancer and was given a year to live.

I practiced a lot of piano in February. Favorite songs to play were “My Song” by Keith Jarrett, the title song from “Schindler’s List”, and “Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me)”… yes, I love sad tunes.

March

For most of the month of March it seemed, I was helping take care of my terminally ill father-in-law. It felt like it was a 24/7 job, but the music business happened to be slow in March, so I took care of him most of the time. My sis-in-law from Santa Barbara came down every week by train to take care of him too. We took my father-in-law to the hospital countless times in March.

My garden in the backyard was looking pretty in Spring with lots of flowers. This was good for my father-in-law, who enjoyed lounging and resting, and reading out in the patio amongst the flowers, trees and birds…

My father-in-law became quite weak and needed assistance while walking, going to the bathroom, and while eating. We set up his bed in our family room with a partition. This was great for him so that he could watch TV. He loved watching the news: CNN, NBC, MSNBC…

All in all, March was a very tough time. But I got a lot of time to spend with my father-in-law before he passed on. He told me during this time that I was his favorite son-in-law, and that saddened me. I was very depressed during this month but I felt I had to remain strong for everyone else.

April

My wife and her older sister took their Dad back to the Philippines. He professed that he wanted to die in his homeland. Because he was so weak and need constant care, they went 1st Class on a Philippine Airlines flight headed for Manila. It was easier and there was more room to maneuver.

We drove to LAX one night to take him and my wife and sis-in-law. I remember that my father-in-law was shivering inside the airport terminal, and I had to give him my son’s jacket and had to keep hugging him so that he could feel warmth. Seeing them off, I remember this was the last time I saw my father-in-law alive. No tears. A big smile and a wave and he was gone…

The economy began to slow down significantly, gas prices were really beginning to soar, and gigs were fewer in April. There were protests because of the China and the Tibetan dilemma.

I found out that my uncle (who was diagnosed with liver cancer) had passed away the day before my father-in-law, my wife and my older sis-in-law were to leave for the Philippines. He was given a year to live, but there were some complications. I performed the piano at his funeral service.

May

In May, I remember performing at a wedding reception with Flamenco Nova and the police came because someone complained we were too loud. Well, Flamenco music isn’t very loud, so I think somone had “sensitive” ears. The police threatened to confiscate our instruments, and since music was our livelihood, we played extremely soft for the remainder of the party. The police never came back.

Had my grand piano tuned for the fourth time, and for free. The purchase of the grand piano came with an initial tuning back at the piano store before shipping it to my house, then another follow up tuning a week later after it was delivered. They came out and tuned it again in January. Pianos need to be tuned quite a bit in the first 6 months to acclimate the instrument to the new environment.

My 2 year contract came up for my cell phone, and for a really great deal I upgraded to a smartphone but was torn between getting an iPhone or a Blackberry. I decided to go with the Blackberry Curve and stuck with my T-Mobile family plan for another 2 years.

June

June was by far the most hectic and emotionally draining month of 2008 for me and my family. My father-in-law passed away on June 3rd, so we had to pack and make quick arrangements to fly to the Philippines. I didn’t want to go because I felt guilty about having to spending additional money for me, and I wanted to continue working, but my wife and her family stressed that they needed me for emotional support.

Basically, in June we had two funeral services, one in Quezon City and the other in Lubao in the province of Pampanga. My father-in-law was cremated and his ashes were placed alongside his wife’s in the family mausoleum in Lubao.

About a week was spent in the process of laying my father-in-law to rest. And the remainder of our stay in the Philippines was to travel to as many places as we could. It had been 18 years since my wife and I last visited the Philippines. We weren’t sure if we’d ever come back. So, we tried the best we could to have a family vacation as well.

My oldest son was back in the U.S. during finals week at the university while we were in the Philippines. He later was able to fly to Manila to meet up with us before we left to go back to the States.

As soon as we came back from the Philippines, we found out that one of my wife’s uncles, whom we visited, had died of a stroke.

And to add to this trying month of June, I found out that the bandleader and guitarist of Flamenco Nova went missing and didn’t seem to want anything to do with us anymore! We couldn’t reach him by phone. We couldn’t text him or email him… totally MIA! And fortunately, we found a talented guitarist to take his place and the band has had to move on…

. . . .

In Summary

2008, so far (for me), has been an emotional rollercoaster ride of sorts. So much had happened that was basically out of my control. I learned that in life, you have to roll with the punches. You have to learn to adapt and survive. It seemed that, for me turning 50, death was all around me and just around the corner… and as upbeat as I have been in the past, I had a very hard time trying to stay positive and be the optimist that I typically am… I don’t think I could ever be a pessimist, because being a musician who continually dreams of creating music, makes me an idealist… a dreamer… forever that optimist.

But, on the spectrum of Optimist - Realist - Pessimist… I think I have shifted midway between Optimist and Realist.