Advice: 5 Reasons Why People Ask for It But Don’t Take It

5 Reasons People Ask for Advice But Don’t Take It


Advice is something people ask for when they experience a problem or crisis and need another person’s opinion.

It’s flattering that someone might ask you for help and you’re more than happy to give them that help. It’s frustrating when you’ve invested your time in helping people out, only to find out they didn’t follow what you thought was the best solution.

Below are 5 reasons why people might not take your advice at all:


You’re Not the Only One They’re Asking!

Keep in mind that you might not be the only one this person has approached. And a person might’ve asked others in order to get more than one opinion. It’s nothing personal, but it could be frustrating.

See also: Why do people ask for advice but don’t take it?

“Keep in mind, they are asking for advice, not orders. They may likely ask more than one person what they would do. And then they can formulate their own idea of how they want to handle a situation.”


Sometimes It’s Beyond Their Control

Sometimes people know what they need to do, but want someone else to tell them that it’s right. But, like someone trying to quit smoking cigarettes or lose weight, they might listen to you and not follow through. In other words they might not have the willpower or control to follow through.

If that person is an alcoholic or a drug addict, then that’s another story. Advise them to seek out professional help, the kind you’re not capable of giving, anyway.


Sometimes They’re Not Ready

It happens a lot. Sometimes people want help but they’re not really ready to make that next step. But, at least they are talking to someone about it. And that’s a good thing, and a step in the right direction. Also, even though a person is asking you for help, they are really in denial at that point. Sometimes a whole family can be in denial when a family member needs help, so at least they came to you, but they are not quite ready to deal with the problem. So it’s best to be tolerant, yet helpful, and again, leave it at that. You’ve done your part. Of course, if they continually call you for help and still don’t take action, then it becomes a burden to you.


Sometimes They Just Want to Be Heard

Yes, sometimes they just need someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on. It’s good to comfort someone in a time of crisis, but if they ask for your take on it, be cautious. They might listen to you, but they might not take action. And once again, it’s nothing personal. Just be supportive.

See also: Why People May Not Want Your Advice

“More often than not, someone will raise an issue because they want to be heard rather than have it fixed.”


Sometimes People Simply Don’t Take Advice Well

Maybe during the height of a crisis, someone calls on you for help, and you dish out some great advice. But there is a psychology about people that falls into the question of ego. Sometimes, people don’t take advice well. Even if it’s the best solution to their problem. It happens. Lend a helping hand but with no expectations. You’ve done your part. And if they don’t take action, then don’t sweat it. It’s in that person’s hands now to either follow it, or not.



Carlos Rull

Carlos Rull is a musician living in the San Diego area. His interests include Yoga, Eastern Philosophy, Zen Buddhism, and Gardening. He plays drums, piano, and composes New Age & Ambient music, and his albums are available on iTunes and

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