In My Mind's Zen Garden
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himalaya

Here is an old poem, written in 1979, revised in 1989, and once again revised in 2011.
. . . .

Himalaya by Carlos Rull

(third version) 26 January 2011

Movement I

sometimes I wander far from all the crowds
just to reflect within a moment’s silence
to journey far into my mind’s eye
and to ponder what I truly feel inside

i crave my mind to nestle upon the stirring of a cloud
the creation of a dream
the bringing of a thought
to a fountain of continuously flowing ether
exuberantly conditioned, and held in essence

sometimes I find myself wandering through the darkness
across the flatlands and endlessly rolling hills
beyond are the trees that make up the dark forests
above me is a sky filled with gray clouds; floating
farther away, like an omen of ill tidings

my mind suppresses these feelings in time
pondering through quiet valleys
roaming about lush green meadows of windblown grass
sometimes envisioning the sun’s rays, breaking through clouds
like a glorious vision of the gates of heaven

but in my visions I am ever-searching
searching through an evening beyond the twilight

discovering…

that twinkling rays of light are flashing
far behind the distant hills
piercing the coldness of the night
beckoning to me; ever still
but in reaching for this light
I find— I am [still] ever so far away

yet, somehow I would reach this light
something within me knows for certain
that when I’ve finally found the light
and when this light is all around
and when the light appears within
blessed shall I be in eternal peace.

Movement II

as i ponder upon this world
turning away with mixed emotions
torn between the love and hate
and moving around in circles, i try to catch my breath
for i feel dizzy with the world i’ve met
so i sit back, and watch the world go by
like a bird above the water, i begin to ask the meaning
for what it is I’m after

in the park i see the children play
i wonder what they will come to be
what journeys do they have in store
what games will they wish to play?

for i’ve longed to find all the answers
to all the theories of outer space
to the longing child’s warm embrace
to the tears rolling down a weary face

at times i feel that i have reached
the great walls of obstruction
walls reaching as high as the sky
climbing beyond all forms

at times i steal away in darkness
as i close the door behind me
quietly waiting for an answer
only memories echo to me

but love is the answer, to our hopes and dreams
to quench the thirst within our souls, to cleanse us of impurities

i’ve felt its warmth in the coldest of hours
and have met love as a friend for life
of sights unseen and sounds unheard
that never must one go astray
lessons to be learned for the rest of our days
for love is a light I would beckon to say
for love is not love until given away

Movement III

sometimes we wander far from all the crowds
in hopes of goals produced within the sounds
as we search beyond to find the hidden light
we find ourselves searching blindly through the night

a field of dreams have found the morning clear
to distant lands one tries to hide all fear
a world, of visions that no one else could see
to grasp the truth, the hidden memory

a place found high among the mountainside,
a movement grew where faceless crowds have died
we heard a song that echoed ‘cross the sea
to touch upon one’s soul, and to set our spirit free

words will choose; those clouds that float adrift
can raise the mind, release the thoughts they sift
upon the goals which show the path to be
to calm one’s soul, in the vastness of the sea

_______________________________

one monastery, one holy place
so far away, to seek and embrace
afar from thee, from future hence
deny thyself, from all we sense

into the light, a world full of union
to live at peace, in God’s true fruition
from soul to soul, we engulfed the One
from far beyond, to the furthest sun

world delusion, of the mind
life a riddle, a path to find
to wing-swept angels, in towering ranks
to paths of glory, to thee we give thanks

Movement IV

A place enshrined in total mystery
a place of spiritual destiny
of the many legends through the ages
such are the feats of mystic sages
but many may have turned its pages
in the solemn land of the Himalayas…

___________________________

to ponder on one’s secret dream
to seek the solace of one’s soul
to hear the crying of the winds
to make one’s mind and body whole
but truth is found within one’s heart
if one can listen, one can see
and hear the angels sing with glee
their secrets for eternity

__________________________

a place for all to live one’s dream,
towards the ocean from the stream
so safe from all the hate and harm
the dream of life so it would seem

the eyes fill up with gentle light
it soon emerges from one’s sight
it then in turn so warms the heart
the soul becomes of wisdom’s light

let truth so touch your weary heart
to set your mind so far away
out of the dark and restless shadows
within yourself, you find the way….

© 1979, 1989, 2011 Carlos Rull



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About the author:
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Carlos Rull is a musician living in the San Diego area. His interests include Yoga, Eastern Philosophy, Zen Buddhism, and Gardening. He plays drums, piano, and composes New Age & Ambient music, and his albums are available on iTunes and Amazon.com.

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