It Hurts When You’re Not Wanted, And Other Stories…

I just had one of the best gigs ever, doing a wedding reception in Fairbanks Ranch, and performing with some of my most favorite musicians. We love to play Jazz for the most part, and the clients wanted us to play Jazz for most of the evening. Of course, toward the end we got funky and laid down the groove for the dancers.

It is a blessing when people hire a “live” band. It really is.

I have nothing against DJ’s who simply regurgitate studio recordings through their PA system, but… there is simply nothing like a REAL live band that jams and plays from the heart. The people who do feel that interaction… God bless them. And thank you once again for hiring us.

Last night the band got some great compliments. One of the valet parking attendants said “we crushed it”, meaning that the band played exceptionally well to him. And he said he had done lots of these wedding receptions and that our “live” band sounds so much better than the DJs he’s heard.

I hate to toot my own horn, but… people should support “live” music more. It’s very important!

After doing hundreds and hundreds of weddings, I feel blessed to have been a part of each couple’s special day. I understand that it’s not just a job, that it’s the most important day in each couple’s lives! To be a part of it, well, I am simply honored.

Now, onto the sad part of this post…

It breaks my heart when people I am closer to do not use my skills as a musician.

I don’t know why that is.

And I’m a simple person.

But it’s the truth, which I’ve noticed for a long, long time.

In general, family and friends don’t hire me. I always perform for complete strangers.

Is it because I might not live up to their standards?

Is it because they don’t think much of my musical abilities?

Maybe in my mind I felt closer to these people. Is it just my imagination? Because it would seem that if that were the truth, then I’d be asked more to play music for people closer to me.

Anyway, It does hurt, and I’m a human being with feelings… but I’ll be alright. I’ve dealt with rejection before and that is part of being a musician and an entertainer.

Rejection has been a part of my life.

Okay, I’m over it now.

When I meditate (which is daily) I clear my mind of these thoughts because that’s what they are. Thoughts.

And these thoughts have no purpose in my mind if they are negative to my well-being.

So, off you go negative thoughts.

It’s just that once-in-a-great-while, these thoughts surface.

Then I start to feel depressed, and like a failure.

It’s a blessing to meditate every day. I need it!



Carlos Rull

Carlos Rull is a musician living in the San Diego area. His interests include Yoga, Eastern Philosophy, Zen Buddhism, and Gardening. He plays drums, piano, and composes New Age & Ambient music, and his albums are available on iTunes and

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